Introduction.

Believers in a backslidden state are robbed of their delight and enjoyment of God. Naomi's loss was great and she needed to enjoy the comfort and peace that sheltering in the Lord brings the Lord's people, but her backslidden state prevented her from enjoying the privileges of the covenant. We need to be on guard against the sin of bitterness, as it easily creeps into our hearts and sours our relationship with the Lord.

1. The sin of bitterness kept Naomi's faith in a backslidden state.

1. In Ruth 1:13 Naomi tells her daughters-in-law, "No, my daughters; for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me!" When Naomi meets the women of Bethlehem, she gives them this instruction, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?" (Ruth 1:20) The Hebrew word ‘marar' is used in both verses, in verse 13 it is translated as grieves and in verse 20 it is translated as bitterly. The word is used 16 times in the Old Testament and is translated by the following words bitter, grieved, vexed, provoked and rage.  Our English word bitterbitter describes an experience rather than taste, it refers to the pain and sadness that an experience imprints on the heart and mind. The heart and the mind respond to the experience in a way that matches the reaction of the tastebuds to a very sour lemon. We talk about it being bitterly cold, which means that it is so cold that it is painful. Peter after he denied the Lord three times wept bitterly, his heart was filled with deep pain at what he had done to the Lord. That the author of Ruth uses the word bitter in verses 13 and 20 tells us two things about Naomi:
    
1. The Lord by his providence filled her life with bitter experiences. These experiences afflicted her many times with sharp and unpleasant heartfelt pain. The loss of a husband and two sons are bitter experiences of life. The ten years Naomi spent in Moab were ten years of painful experiences.
   
   
2. Naomi responded to these painful experiences by becoming bitter in her inner being. This is abundantly clear when she says, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara." Naomi had become a bitter person and those meeting her would be afflicted by her bitterness.
   
   
2. Most of us would have had bitter experiences, and therefore we are able to sympathise with Naomi and the depth of her pain. Being able to sympathise with Naomi probably means that our response to her bitterness would be, do not criticise Naomi, if you suffered as much as she had you would also be bitter. We are prone to adopt this attitude towards people we know who have passed through grim and painful experiences of life. In our society, those who have had very painful experiences receive a great deal of sympathy and almost have the right to be bitter. It is important that we as Christians respond towards bitterness in others and ourselves in a biblical way. What do the Scriptures tell us about bitterness? Listen to Paul in Ephesians 4:31, ‘Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you,  with all malice' and Hebrews 12:15, ‘Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.' These two passages make it very clear that bitterness is sinful and that Christians should strive to root it out and not give it any place in their lives. In Acts 8:23 Peter rebukes Simon the Sorcerer who sought to buy spiritual gifts with money, listen to Peter's diagnosis of Simon's heart, he says, ‘For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity.' We are not given the details of Simon's life, but know that the experiences he endured made him bitter and poisoned his heart, mind and soul. In Romans 3:10-18 Paul describes the universal sinfulness of the Jews and Greeks. In verse 14 he says, ‘Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.' Bitterness according to the Word of God is sinful and no one, not even Naomi had the right to be bitter. If bitterness resides in your heart, you keep on sinning until that bitterness is rooted out. According to the Bible, bitterness is always sinful and therefore it is never an acceptable response to the experiences of life. Naomi was living with the sin of bitterness constantly active in her.
   
   
3. We need to understand the mechanics of bitterness in order to deal with it. If you tell a lie and your conscience pricks you, you experience guilt for sinning against another person and God. Most Christians know that they deal with guilt by going to the Lord Jesus Christ in confession and repentance seeking forgiveness and restoration. Bitterness by its very nature very rarely causes a sense of guilt. If another person tells scandalous lies about you, what do you experience when you learn about these lies? Do you have a sense of guilt? Do you feel hurt, angry and indignant? Anger, the feeling of hurt and indignation are the ingredients of bitterness. All of us have a very strong inner sense of what is right, fair, and just deep within our hearts and minds. If we are dealt with unjustly, we are outraged at the injustice we have suffered. When our inner sense of fairness or justice is violated, we react naturally by seeking to right the wrongs and correct the injustices. When we are frustrated in our attempts to vindicate ourselves of wrongs and injustices, we become bitter. When we are offended or disappointed by the words or actions of others, and we brood on the hurt we feel and stoke up our anger, we are sowing seeds of bitterness. The seeds of bitterness take root, and soon the heart and the mind begin to choke on this crop of poisonous weeds. In today's jargon, the term bitterness is replaced with the phrase victim mentality. A victim mentality claims the right to be understood in the context of their past bitter experiences and therefore be treated with unconditional love, sympathy, empathy and understanding. This right is enforced by the claim, until you are a victim like me you cannot understand me, therefore do not criticise me. If you criticise a person with a victim mentality, you are seen not only as being unloving and harsh, but also as taking the side of those who did the wrongs and injustices. Because of this, most Christians who have a victim mentality are allowed to live with the sin of bitterness in their lives.
   
   
4. Bitter people display some or all of the following symptoms: A bitter person is oversensitive to remarks, actions or inaction of others and their feelings are quickly and easily hurt. Those who are bitter are dominated by the wounds they have suffered and have a need to talk about them over and over again, slandering the person who caused their pain. The outrage at being wronged grows into hatred towards the person who did what was wrong, unfair or unjust. The bitter attitude is not reserved for the perpetrator. A resentful attitude towards others develops and shows itself in harsh criticism, displays a sulky, sullen and irritated attitude, seldom helps others and complains when asked to help, finds it difficult to forgive and experiences mood swings. Bitterness robs the soul of its sense of gratitude towards others and God. The bitter person cannot give obedience to the command Jesus gave in Mathew 5:44-45, ‘But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.' Enemies of a bitter person do not receive love, but strong resentment. A heart full of bitterness is a heart that cannot exercise the love Scripture requires. You cannot be imitators of God if bitterness lives in your heart and mind. You do not get over bitterness; it does not pass with time it must be rooted out of your heart and mind by the grace and the power of the Holy Spirit.
   
   
5. You cannot be bitter and not have anger smouldering away in your heart and mind against the person who has wronged you. Many Christians would claim that they are not bitter, but simply filled with righteous anger because another has sinned against them. Living with bitterness is sinful, but living with righteous anger is not sinful. There is a simple test, which determines the difference between righteous anger and bitterness. The test is the answer to this question, do you have a compelling sense that you need to approach the person who wronged you to put things right? If your answer is, ‘No, I have been wronged, I am the offended person, the offender must come to me' then you are bitter. Righteous anger or indignation comes with a compelling desire to deal with the matter as soon as possible because God is offended. Paul in Ephesians 4:26-28 says; ‘Be angry, and do not sin': do not let the sun go down on your wrath, ^nor give place to the devil.' Righteous anger, because it is concerned about God's glory is motivated to solve the problem God's way. Righteous anger recognises that if anger is not dealt with it gives place to the devil. Listen to Jesus' teaching on this matter in Matthew 5:23-24, ‘Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you,  leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.' Jesus tells the offended person to go to the offender and be reconciled. Righteous anger places a deep sense of urgency on resolving the problem. Righteous anger that leads to sin is not righteous anger. Bitterness has another identifying factor: Bitterness remembers details. During the normal course of life you have thousands of conversations most of which you forget. If you can remember a conversation that took place 3 or 4 years ago, and you remember every word, and you can relive the mood and atmosphere of that conversation down to the tone of voice used, then you are bitter about that incident. As Jim Wilson says, <‘If someone has a sharp, detailed memory for things which happened years ago when he was a child, or a young man or woman, and that memory is at all accusative of anyone else, then it is an indication of bitterness.' Righteous anger does not brood for days, weeks, months and years like bitterness, it acts to resolve the problem. The Devil will seek to deceive by having you think that you are not bitter, but filled with righteous anger. He will do this so that you remain in your sin of bitterness and do not enjoy God or give obedience to his commands.
   
   
6. Living with bitterness in your heart over a period makes the attitude of bitterness the entrenched way of thinking and responding to life. Bitterness becomes the habitual sinful way of life. The person who nurses bitterness over many years becomes addicted to bitterness, in the sense that bitterness exercises a power over them. Christians addicted to bitterness are able to understand that bitterness is wrong, but do not find in themselves the power to do what they know is right because bitterness rules them. When we talk about sin, we generally use it in a broad sense referring to the legacy of the sinful nature that continues to be active in believers. Bitterness is a specific sin and we need to understand its power. Paul uses the word sin in a general sense in Romans 7:16-20, if we read these verses but substitute the word bitterness for sin, we get a sense of this sin's power. Listen to Romans 7:16-20modified in order to apply it to a bitter Christian: ‘If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but the bitterness that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but the bitterness that dwells in me.'  (You can do the same with the specific sins of lust, greed, covetousness and hypocrisy.) Paul is not saying; ‘Do not blame me for my sinful action, rather blame the sin that dwells in me.' He is not removing responsibility from the individual, but revealing the power of sin in believers. Bitterness takes over the person's life and controls their thinking, words and actions, but they are fully responsible for what they do. Bitterness keeps gaining power over believers who allowed it to take root in their lives. When Naomi says, call me Mara, she is confessing her sinfulness, and declaring that her faith is in a serious backslidden state.

2. Dealing with the sin of bitterness.

1. Listen again to Hebrews 12:14-15, ‘Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.' We are given the positive injunction to actively and deliberately pursue peace and holiness. We need to obey this exhortation by engaging our hearts and minds in this activity. Take note that the first thing that is most likely to trip us up in our pursuit of peace and holiness is; any root of bitterness. Notice also that it causes trouble and defiles many. That bitterness defiles many tells us that it is a very common and defiling sin. Hebrews 12:15 likens bitterness to a root. A root is something that is underground and its activity is invisible. The evidence of roots is sometimes exposed by cracks in the road or lifting of paving slabs. We do not see the roots but we see evidences. It is very difficult to prove to a person that they are bitter, as you cannot see the roots. When you reveal the evidence, the evidence is usually dismissed because of tiredness, or not feeling well or some other reason. When Naomi says, call me Mara she confessed that bitterness was her problem. Naomi was in a position where the bitterness that poisoned her life could be addressed. Knowing and admitting that you are bitter is essential to getting rid of the sinful habit.
   
   
2. Removing the roots of a tree is very difficult, backbreaking and time-consuming job. Removing the roots of bitterness is also a very difficult task, as you need to break old habits and develop new habits. Bitterness is very difficult to get rid of because the focus is constantly being redirected at the offender. We have a natural sense that points to the offender and labels him as the problem. The offender is not the problem of your bitterness, your habitual attitude, thinking and responses are. The offender does not make you bitter, you do that to yourself, and the misery of bitterness is self-inflicted. Once more, the legacy of the sinful nature and the devil make removing the roots very difficult. What the devil wants is for the believer to think is; that when the offender repents and seeks my forgiveness my bitterness will disappear. That this is simply not true is the collective experience of counsellors. People, who are bitter, remain bitter long after the offender dies. Naomi's bitterness was her sin and unrelated to anybody else.
   
   
3. Ephesians 4:31 says, ‘Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.' It is impossible to simply stop being bitter. Bitterness must be squeezed out by a new and different attitude. Paul in Ephesians 4:32 tells us what the replacement attitude must be, be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.' Is implementing this change difficult to do? It is very difficult, but very possible because you have been set free from the dominion of sin, and the Holy Spirit works in you to promote your sanctification. Do you doubt that your heavenly Father will help you to put off this sin? Do you not think that the Saviour who bled and died to deal with you sins would not help you cast off this dreadful sin? As a Christian, you should be confident that the Lord will help you overcome this sin. Do not expect the Lord to work a miracle and end your bitterness in an instant. He will help you overcome it, but you must overcome it by God's enabling grace.
   
   
4. Naomi's bitterness was towards God. She claimed to be a victim; God's providential actions had made her bitter. Bitterness towards God who is holy and acting in loving perfection is always inappropriate. Intellectually it is easy to grasp that God cannot sin and therefore all his actions are perfectly right and just, but our feelings often mislead us into blaming God and being angry with him. We can imagine Naomi's feelings saying; God is God, and he could have intervened and stopped the deaths of Elimelech and her two sons. Naomi's feelings probably told her that God had dealt with her in an unfair and unjust way and therefore she had the right to be bitter towards God. Feelings often lie to us and we need to measure our feelings according to the word of God.

Conclusion.

Bitterness is one of the most common causes of backsliding and is very dangerous as it is contagious. We need to guard our hearts and minds against this dreadful sin. If you are quick to blame others for your problems, it is very possible that you are poisoned with bitterness. May God give us wisdom to guard our hearts.